The last couple of days have been a challenge. As soon as I begin to allow my heart and mind to rest in prayer and solitude I begin working. Working the problem of not having work. Working the possible scenarios. Working a plan to figure out what is next. Working! Like a cow chewing a mouthful of grass…working! And then I realize where my mind has gone and I remember Jesus’ word’s to me, “Sit here and rest. I will go take care of the people and then I will come back and let you know what is next.”

I have been listening to a teaching series by Henri Nouwen, Desert Spirituality for Contemporay Ministry. He says that it is in solitude that we are most haunted by our darkness and the demons of our insecurity and guilt and sin. Those voices that would accuse us and name us as insufficient. We are tempted to return to distraction. Anything to keep us from facing ourselves and our wickedness, from facing the truth of our desolation and despair. But if we will persevere in solitude, the desert fathers teach us that we will discover a deep grace and shalom that comes from no longer trying to perform for one another and for God.

This is much easier said than done!